A dentally challenged Serbian grandpa insists that you try his urine-coloured homemade alcohol.
Local sources have confirmed that 73-year-old Slavoljub Radivojević will be extremely offended if you don’t take a healthy swig of his family’s famous rakija, which he’s currently thrusting toward you in an unlabelled plastic bottle.
According to a recent analysis performed by concerned local scientist Dr Srbijanka Svetolikovic, the triple-distilled plum brandy is 82% alcohol and has the potential to cause permanent brain damage if consumed in large doses.
“Grandpa Slavoljub love make rakija, but this should not to drink; it must only used for disinfect medical equipments and clean barnacles off the boats,” Dr Svetoliković explained via Google Translate. “Still, he who offered rakija is must drink, otherwise Grandpa Slavoljub declare blood feud on he family.”
Although it is clearly unsafe for human consumption, Grandpa Slavoljub is understood to make his six-year-old great-grandson drink a shot of the highly flammable liquid every morning before primary school.
At the time of publication, Grandpa Slavoljub was growing more impatient for you to drink the rakija, thereby sealing the marriage pact with his first-born granddaughter that you didn’t realise you’d agreed to.