The utter lunatic in the seat next to you is not only okay with the extreme turbulence that is currently shaking your plane to its very core – she actually likes it.
Despite being trapped in a magic Coke can speeding through the clouds two miles above some very spiky mountains, this psycho is completely unfazed by the regular losses of altitude you’ve been experiencing for the past 12 minutes.
“I enjoy the ride – it’s kinda like a roller coaster,” the cold-blooded maniac says as you dig your fingernails deeper into the armrest and try to choke back the tears.
“Just try to relax,” she adds, as if that’s fucking possible when you’re mere seconds away from plunging to an agonising death.
The reptilian death-worshiper then goes calmly back to doing her crossword while you wonder how long it’ll be until the engine falls right off.