A British man who mistook the southern African republic of Angola for the mountainous European principality of Andorra has just completed the world’s worst skiing holiday, The Tragic Traveller can confirm.
Darryl Bluthwaite of Kent was left red-faced after accidentally lugging his ski gear across the equator for what was supposed to be “a four-day weekend of shredding the slopes.”
“To be honest, I did think it was weird that I had a stopover in Nigeria,” Bluthwaite said. “But hey, they were cheap flights. I would’ve flown via Timbuktu to save a buck!” he added, ironically naming somewhere closer than Angola.
Bluthwaite told The Tragic Traveller that it took him less than an hour to realise his mistake upon arrival.
“Not to be racist, but I was surprised how many black people were working at the airport,” he said.
“Then I stepped outside into the 42 degree heat and thought ‘Fuck, global warming has really sped up!’ But when the taxi driver refused to accept my euros, it all clicked.”
Despite finding himself several thousand kilometres from the nearest snowflake, Bluthwaite made the most of his situation. He tried his luck skiing down the nearby sand dunes and lasted nearly five minutes before breaking his leg.
“Yeah, this is probably the worst skiing holiday I’ve been on,” he said from his hospital bed. “The biggest irony is that my travel insurance only covers me for Andorra.”
“The insurance company knew my itinerary better than I did!” he added with the laugh of a fucking idiot.