BREAKING: Backpacker spotted using pre-touchscreen phone
A solo traveller under the age of 30 has been spotted this morning unashamedly using a Nokia 3315 in full view of everyone at her hostel.
A series of eyewitnesses have confirmed that Sara Fernando, 24, isn’t bothered about travelling without a smartphone, even though it’s 2019.
“At first I assumed she must have lost her real phone, but when I asked her she said she’s never used a smartphone and doesn’t really feel the need to upgrade,” one eyewitness told The Tragic Traveller.
“How does this girl prove she’s been to the Eiffel Tower if she can’t take a selfie in front of it and Snapchat it to everyone she knows? How does she find her way to the metro station without checking Google Maps every five seconds? How will I ever be able to send her an unsolicited dick pic??”
Several hostel guests have told The Tragic Traveller that Fernando is not only unperturbed by her lack of constant connectivity, but actually seems happy. Witnesses have seen her engaging in direct eye contact with others during face-to-face conversations, smiling at something that wasn’t a meme, and immersing herself fully in her surroundings.
“I was so fascinated that I followed her out to the local independent café where she had breakfast,” another witness said. “It didn’t even bother her that she couldn’t Insta her deconstructed eggs Benedict and buckwheat hash brown. She just tucked right in and ate it as if its main function were to be delicious and provide her body with the energy it requires.”
“Her freshly squeezed juice was served in a ceramic flowerpot, for fuck’s sake,” the witness added. “How can any reasonable person let that go undocumented?”
At the time of publication, Fernando was seen approaching a local on the street and asking for directions, instead of spending 10 minutes awkwardly googling it like everybody else does.
