Hostel’s “full breakfast” disappoints yet again

Yet another hostel has falsely advertised soggy white toast and cheap jam as a “full breakfast.”

Guests at the Crusty Crab hostel in Auckland were furious this morning as they woke up to their meagre breakfast. One backpacker broke down in tears as he sliced some mould off the crust of his bread.

“Fuck’s sake!” he said. “I’m paying an extra six bucks a night for this shit. At least give us an egg you stingy pricks.”

Witnesses confirmed that, aside from toast, the hostel’s “full breakfast” also included cereal with long-life milk, lukewarm instant coffee, and orange juice so full of chemicals that it’s legally classified as a pharmaceutical product.

At publication time, the hostel had further outraged guests by announcing brekky would only be available between 6:30 and 7:45 am.