Travellers of the world unite to say “fuck you!” to all violent extremists

In the wake of today’s horrific mosque shootings in Christchurch, New Zealand, travellers around the world have gathered together in spirit to give the middle finger to racism, bigotry, and violence.

The coordinated terror attacks by right-wing extremists against Muslim worshipers – which killed at least 49 people and injured countless more – have rocked the normally peaceful island nation. Just as disturbing is the fact that thousands of people watched the slaughter via live stream.

A spokesperson for all travellers said their vast but tight-knit community was both saddened and outraged by today’s events.

“To all the victims and their families, we offer our sincerest condolences. And to all those who perpetrated this disgusting act of terrorism, we offer our sincerest fuck you,” the spokesperson said.

“If you watched the live stream and got some perverse pleasure out of watching people die, fuck you. And if you’re celebrating these attacks on Twitter, then you’re a piece of shit and deserve your own special fuck you.”

The spokesperson went on to confirm that travellers were furious at violent extremists of all creeds, not just the terrorists behind this particular attack.

“We don’t care whether you’re an ISIS fighter or an angry white man with a semi-automatic weapon; if you’re willing to kill innocent people in the name of your ideology, you’re a fucking moron and we don’t want you on this planet.”

“People make jokes about us travellers being useless hippies,” the spokesperson added. “But seriously, those who travel and immerse themselves in other cultures don’t do shit like this.”

The spokesperson encouraged anyone who was feeling angry at a particular race or religion to go and actually meet some people from those communities

“Spend a month in the Middle East, then tell me that all Muslims are violent savages. I bet you’ll be constantly and unashamedly ambushed … by people offering to buy you lunch and show you around their city. How could you possibly hate a group of people when you’ve experienced that?”

At publication time, witnesses saw the spokesperson break down in tears of white-hot rage after reading Senator Fraser Anning’s comments on the attack.

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