“Let’s get wasted on St Patrick’s Day!” says backpacker who gets wasted every day

A backpacker with a serious alcohol-abuse problem is making loud plans to get “totally fucking wasted” on St Patrick’s Day, The Tragic Traveller can confirm.

Australian traveller Adam Horsley, 22, spent the whole of Sunday morning petitioning fellow guests at his Boston hostel to come out drinking with him, just as he’s done every night of his trip.

“St Paddy’s Day is special, man!” Horsley said with a brekkie beer in his hand. “If there’s one thing I love more than drinking, it’s wearing green and drinking.”

“It’s not every day you get to let loose and get completely plastered,” he added, oblivious to the irony of his statement.

Horsely – who consumed four litres of beer and seven Jager bombs last Monday – has planned an elaborate pub crawl involving 23 bars, and is now looking for victims to drag along with him.

Despite already having the liver of an 80-year-old sailor, witnesses said he seemed determined to get so wasted on St Patrick’s Day that his internal organs would suffer permanent damage.

“Yeah, this guy really doesn’t need an excuse to drink,” a fellow hostel guest told The Tragic Traveller. “Last night he staggered into the dorm at 5 am, pissed all over the carpet, then took a huge swig from his hip flask. I can’t imagine what his St Patrick’s Day will look like.”

At press time, Horsley had just rushed off to the toilets for his usual mid-morning puke.

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