A long-term traveller who wasted several years of his life volunteering in developing countries has finally started contributing to society by getting a real job.
The Tragic Traveller can confirm 29-year-old Brayden Holmes has recently accepted a six-figure job at a multinational mining company. In doing so, he has finally broken a cycle of self-indulgent travel that saw him build a primary school in Rwanda, volunteer at an orphanage in Guatemala, and teach English to refugees fleeing Myanmar.
“I was young and naive; I thought helping people was the way to do good,” Holmes told The Tragic Traveller. “Now I realise true fulfilment comes from making an ungodly amount of money.”
These days, I’m contributing to society by wearing a blue tie, using the word ‘synergy’ in meetings, and snorting lines of cocaine in my boss’s office. I’ve never more complete!
Holmes’s mother Diedre told The Tragic Traveller she was ecstatic that her son had finally made a sensible life choice.
“I’m so relieved,” she said. “We were worried Brayden would waste his life helping the less fortunate. Now, thank god, he’s helping the more fortunate in exchange for money. Lots of it.”
Holmes said he was looking forward to revisiting the school he’d built in Rwanda so his company could buy the land and turn it into a diamond mine.