BREAKING: Trump tightens travel restrictions on Mexicans from all Mexican countries

US President Donald Trump has vowed to further increase immigration security after learning that there are several other Mexican countries out there.

While watching Fox News yesterday, President Trump was alarmed to learn that at least three Mexican countries exist. The revelations cast doubt on his efforts to build a border wall between the USA and “Mexico Numero Uno,” as he now calls it.

“Fox News has confirmed that there are at least three Mexicos,” the president said. “But what if there are more? There could be hundreds, even thousands of Mexican countries that we don’t know about.”

“We’re gonna build a wall for every one of those Mexicos!” he added. “These walls will be big. They’ll be tremendous. And they will protect our country from Mexicans of all nationalities!”

Aside from building more walls, President Trump also proposed a visa ban for Mexicans from all Mexican countries.

“My people tell me that some Mexicans can afford to fly to our country,” the president said. “Like idiots, we’ve been accepting flights from Mexicos all over the world. Well, from now on things are gonna change. We’re gonna check all those Mexicans so thoroughly before they ever get on a plane!”

At publication time, Trump was on the phone to the president of Oil Mexico (formerly known as Venezuela). According to sources, Trump was telling the president to choose between paying for the wall and getting bombed.

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