Serbian Foreign Minister Ivica Dačić has warned his citizens against travelling to the UK because of “major political chaos” in what researchers have described as “measurably the most ironic statement ever made.”
Dačić – who represents a country that has changed its name three times in the past 30 years – made the statement on Thursday. With Brexit negotiations collapsing, he advised Serbs to avoid the UK’s dangerous “daily demonstrations” and instead stay at home, where the protests only happen once a week.
“I recommend that they don’t go [to the UK], so as not to put themselves in danger,” Dačić actually told local news site B92.
Several linguists analysing Dačić’s accusation have concluded that it is indeed the most ironic thing anybody has ever said.
“This really is the holy grail of ironic statements,” the head linguist told The Tragic Traveller. “We didn’t think anyone would ever outdo Donald Trump’s boast that he ‘broke the glass ceiling on behalf of women.’ But when we considered that the Republic of Serbia didn’t technically exist until 2006 because of – you guessed it – political chaos, we knew we had a new winner.”
“Let’s put it this way,” the linguist continued. “The foreign minister’s accusation is akin to Piers Morgan calling Simon Cowell ‘a posh, angry prick.’ Yes, it’s technically true, but it’s also so hypocritical that you couldn’t possibly take it seriously.”
The researchers went on to clarify that their criticism extended only to the Serbian government, not the country as a whole.
“Look, Serbia is undoubtedly a safe country and an excellent tourist destination,” the researcher added. “It’s known for its hospitable people, excellent food, and well-preserved cultural traditions.”
“Unfortunately, the best-preserved of those traditions is being held ransom by a comically dysfunctional and corrupt government that can hardly organise its own public transport system, let alone manage an economy that supports 7 million people. So, to paraphrase the Bible, Dačić should probably get his own shit together before he criticises the UK.”
Shortly after his controversial comments, Dačić had reportedly published a tweet that began: “Given Western Europe’s well-documented problems with football hooliganism …”