Emirates in-flight entertainment reduces GoT episode to 12 minutes after editing out violence, tits

Passengers on Emirates flights have been left bitterly disappointed upon discovering that the airline has edited all sex and violence from the episodes of Game of Thrones on its in-flight entertainment service.

The airline – which represents the socially conservative United Arab Emirates – has a reputation for editing all the good stuff out of its in-flight movies. Now the practice has extended to GoT, with even the gentlest of swearwords getting the chop.

One disgruntled passenger told The Tragic Traveller he was considering asking for a full refund on his tickets.

“When I saw GoT on the menu, I was expecting an hour-long orgy of blood, guts, and lust,” one passenger said. “But much like my real-life sexual encounters, the whole thing was over far too quickly.”

The whole experience makes you realise how boring GoT is without all the boobs, banter, and beheadings.

The passenger said after watching one heavily edited 12-minute episode, he’d seen all the spoilers without any of the action.

“All I wanted was to see a naked, erect Jon Snow slay some white walkers before returning to Winterfell to bed Queen Daenerys. What I got instead was dialogue and intrigue. Fuck intrigue.”

At publication time, the frustrated passenger had just switched over to watch the most disappointing episode of Californication ever.