“You never listen to me!” screams exasperated GPS after yet another wrong turn
Tensions between a GPS and its owner have reached an all-time high as yet another miscommunication has left the pair stranded for the fifth time today.
Three days into a month-long road trip, the couple has found itself on the cusp of divorce after the driver once again failed to do as he was told. Witnesses saw the two engaging in a heated verbal exchange in a carpark on the outskirts of Los Angeles.
“For fuck’s sake Gerald, I said KEEP right, not TURN right!” TomTom reportedly screamed at the frustrated driver. “You never listen to me! It’s as if everything I say is just background music to you.”
“No, background music would be a lot nicer than the bullshit that comes out of your mouth,” an irate Gerald responded. “If you made some fucking sense every once in a while, I might actually take your directions seriously. Now tell me how the fuck to get out of this carpark!”
After TomTom refused to answer, Gerald proceeded to strike the GPS unit across the side of the head. He instantly apologised, but TomTom was having none of it.
“Oh, so you’re going to hit me now, are you?” taunted TomTom. “You know what Gerald, you can take the second exit straight to Hell!”
At publication time, witnesses reported that Gerald had dumped TomTom and was getting back together with his old flame: a paper map of California.
