An utterly generic man with no distinguishing physical features or personality traits has gone ziplining to make up for the fact that there is literally nothing else interesting about him.
John, 34, works as a mid-level administrator for a British envelope firm. During his two-week package holiday to Thailand, the unmarried Volvo driver decided to “do something crazy” by taking a 35-metre ride on a glorified flying fox.
John told The Tragic Traveller he’d loved every minute of the utterly vanilla experience.
“What a rush!” he said after finishing what is widely considered the lamest of all adventure sports. “You really feel as though you’re living on the edge.”
“Ziplining is such a thrill!” added the balding man, who earlier described the finale of Game of Thrones as “a really exciting twist.”
Like the basic bitch he is, John then spent $10 on a cheesy photo of himself “whooshing through the air like a superhero.”
This’ll make a great Tinder pic haha.
A data agent from Tinder told The Tragic Traveller John’s profile had been flagged as a fake because it was so tragically unimaginative. She added that over the past five years, all of his 13 matches had been spam bots.