Hostel bumps prices by 300% for rugby match nobody staying there will go to

Despite the vast majority of its residents being long-term working travellers in the hospitality and traffic-control industries, Fortitude Valley Funhouse Hostel expects guests to pay triple the going rate for a dorm room for tomorrow’s State of Origin rugby match.

“Jaysus,” said Sean, a 19-year-old Irishman. “That’s a bit steep.”

“Look, I’ll probably watch the game in a pub or in the common room like everyone else does. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that nobody here likes rugby enough to physically rock up to the stadium.”

It is common for hostels to hike prices up to extortionate levels whenever a major event comes to town. The fact that no long-term hostel guests can afford to go to these events is irrelevant.

“It’s like when they tried to make me pay $120 a night in Melbourne just because there was a horse race on,” said Claudia from Uruguay. “There’s not even a single Australian in the hostel. They’re the only people who are going to pay out their arse to go watch the Maroons take on the Blues in some stupid rugby match.”

The Tragic Traveller reached out to the hostel’s owner for comment.

“Look mate,” the heavily tattooed Queenslander said. “It’s standard practice to raise prices to meet demand for public holidays and major events. Granted, the hovel I run is more of a glorified share house for temporary workers than a hotel. But that’s their problem.”

“It’s the free market mate. If I can’t raise prices to rip off people who have no alternative, then we might as well be in Soviet Russia.”