Great Britain is today in raptures as the most obnoxious American tourist of the century has left the country.
The tourist – who was brazen enough to demand a private audience with the Queen – alienated every single UK citizen during his whirlwind visit.
“This prick encapsulates every negative American stereotype out there,” one Brit told The Tragic Traveller. “He’s fat, loud, and arrogant. He wears socks up to his knees and cheats at golf. And he will not shut the fuck up about how much better things are in America.”
Another local saw the tourist “French kissing the fuck out of a Big Mac” at 2 am in Shepherd’s Bush. “I thought I was going to vomit,” she admitted to The Tragic Traveller.
Shortly before publication, Queen Elizabeth II addressed the nation via live TV. She declared the day a public holiday in memory of the obnoxious American tourist leaving.
“One is thrilled that this ghastly man has vacated Britain,” Her Majesty said. “What a cunt he is.”