Pissed stag party suspiciously chirpy about early-morning fire alarm at hotel

It’s 3:40 am at Las Ananas Hotel and Resort in Lanzarote, and everyone across the entire 250-bed complex has just been woken up by an incorrectly triggered fire alarm. Needless to say, most of the guests aren’t exactly thrilled to be standing outside for an hour while staff check every single room for signs of a fire. That is, except, everyone from a stag party group from Wolverhampton, who seem suspiciously merry at this time in the morning.

“Haha, mate, I can’t believe you booked this shithole,” said one of the group, loudly, swigging from a clear liquid that clearly wasn’t water. “They must be taking the piss, making us stand out here in the cold,” he added, despite everyone’s growing suspicion that he and his mates were to blame for their early-morning adventure.

“It’s just vapour mate! It’s not smoke, it smells like cherry!” another shouted to a member of the hotel staff, revealing an unprecedented knowledge of details not yet released to the public.

The stag group had been drinking since mid-morning, and with the help of a few nose beers had made it late into the night. While this does not immediately mean responsibility for the fire alarm, the other guests were not hiding their glares.

“Settle down boys, they might be on to us,” said a third, wiser member of the stag, but still loud enough for everyone to hear.

Their discussions did not go unheard. “Oi, lads, shut up, we’re all tired,” said one nearby father of three who had to carry his kids down the stairs.

“Ooooooooooo,” all the members of the stag said, mockingly. “Call off the night lads, this blokes got a flight,” said one stag, which wasn’t so much a joke as a statement of fact, but got laughs from the other lads all the same.

After an hour-long wait, guests were finally allowed back to their rooms, but there was a complication.

Despite the hotel’s clear no-vaping rules, which were designed explicitly to prevent this exact situation, a vape pen was found on the bedside table of the groom’s room.

The lads were reportedly on their way back to their room when the hotel manager intercepted them. Upon the mention of false alarm fines, the stag party suddenly became noticeably less chirpy.

2 thoughts on “Pissed stag party suspiciously chirpy about early-morning fire alarm at hotel

  • June 27, 2019 at 11:39 am

    This is my first comment here, so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and say I genuinely enjoy reading your articles.

    • July 2, 2019 at 5:18 pm

      Thanks for the support! We really appreciate readers who share our warped sense of humour.


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