A Balkan politician who’s been working hard all year to launder public funds has paid it forward by generously tipping his waiter using his citizens’ money during a luxury holiday in Mykonos.
Serbian MP Stanimir Slavoljubović said he did the good deed – using money that by any legal or ethical definition shouldn’t belong to him – because he respects a healthy work ethic in others.
“I was once a lowly waiter like him,” the politician said wistfully. “Then I worked my way to the top by blackmailing several high-ranking government officials. Maybe this €10 note – courtesy of my countrymen – can help this waiter make something of himself.”
Slavoljubović – who lives in a €2.5 million mansion in Belgrade’s most desirable neighbourhood despite earning an official salary of less than €2,000 per month – admitted he’d been in desperate need of a break after a stressful start to 2019.
“Laundering an entire country’s tax money for your own personal gain isn’t easy,” Slavoljubović told The Tragic Traveller. “You wouldn’t believe how many construction scams we’ve had to pull across Belgrade. We basically dug up the entire city to fund my summer holiday, haha.”
“Three weeks at this luxury Mykonos resort is exactly what I need to rediscover my passion for keeping my fellow citizens in crippling poverty,” the Balkan politician added, motioning for the waiter to pour him another margarita.
At publication time, Slavoljubović had just pulled out a wad of public funds to pay for a very suspicious-looking massage at the resort’s spa centre.