FaceApp accurately predicts what backpacker’s crippling poverty will look like 40 years from now
The FaceApp craze is sweeping the internet! But while most users have had fun with the age-prediction technology, long-term backpacker Nicholas Johnson-Winkerberg got more than he bargained for.
Instead of simply providing a digitally altered image of what the man would look like in his early 70s, the app gave Johnson-Winkerberg a scarily accurate forecast of just how broke, unsettled, and alone he would be by the year 2060. FaceApp reportedly based its prediction on Johnson-Winkerberg’s self-destructive travel addiction and allergy to work.
“Huh. It says by the year 2060 I’ll be homeless, unemployed, and drowning in debt,” the bemused backpacker said. “Just like I am now. Think of how many life experience I’ll have accumulated, though.”
Johnson-Winkerberg continued scrolling through the prediction to find some more alarmingly personal details.
Wow, it even tells me how many times I’ll get dumped over the next 40 years. Gee, that’s an unfortunately high number.
“But hey, it says I’ll go to 113 countries in my lifetime! he added. “And get deported from more than 50 of them … Fuck.”
By the time Johnson-Winkerberg reached the financial section of his future profile, he’d given up all hope.
“I knew the technology was advanced, but I didn’t expect it predict my bank balance down to the cent,” he sighed. “Like literally, it gave me my future bank balance in cents. That’s not a great sign.”
The Tragic Traveller contacted a fortune teller to confirm the accuracy of FaceApp’s prediction. She said the backpacker needn’t worry about his financial future; the plane crash would take care of him long before then.
One thought on “FaceApp accurately predicts what backpacker’s crippling poverty will look like 40 years from now”
Pingback:30-year-old backpacker reluctantly begins new life as creepy older guy at hostel