FEATUREDMAKING MEMORIES

Country town’s giant novelty vegetable monument successfully compensates for fuck-all else to do

A hostel in rural Smusby, Canada, is suffering from shoulder-season blues. With a full-scale guest drought in effect, the hostel’s activities desk is pulling out all the stops to engage with check-ins. 

“While most of the hiking trails are unfortunately closed due to sinkhole season,” said Hilda, the German work-for-accommodation receptionist, “we do have the Colossal Carrot.”

Built in 1938 to commemorate Smusby’s now defunct root vegetable industry, the statue is 16 feet high and is a notorious midnight cruising spot for the region’s closeted husbands. While most come to Smusby for the nearby mountain trails and white-water rafting – completely ignoring the town of 500 people – the carrot still manages to be the second or third thing on all the town’s “must-see” lists.

“It’s only a 20-minute walk away. There’s normally a cafe open there, but the owner skipped town after a dispute with a biker gang,” Hilda told The Tragic Traveller.

Despite most guests being unaware of or vaguely unimpressed by Smusby’s agricultural heritage, the carrot somehow continues to pull in visitors and is a hit with Instagram feeds.

“I don’t care about this backwater town’s crops. I don’t even like carrots. All I know is that I want a selfie with it,” said Danish traveller Peter Smüthammer, 29. “It’s that or watch Netflix in my bed.”

At the time of reporting, the hostel had released several special memorial postcards depicting the carrot, which people still buy for some reason. Each of these postcards represents a great way to waste CAD$2.50.

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