Touring punk musician hoping flights get delayed by Trump’s radioactive hurricane
A punk singer who has a nail through his nose and takes inspiration from GG Allin is excited at the prospect of a radioactive hurricane delaying his band’s upcoming American tour.
The 28-year-old Finnish punk – who officially changed his name to “Hannibal Bloodsprayer” on his passport because it was epic – reacted with a hearty “FUCK YEAH” to yesterday’s news that Donald Trump had floated the idea of nuking hurricanes to stop them from reaching the US mainland.
“DO IT, DON!” Bloodsprayer tweeted in response to the news. “LET’S FUCK SHIT UP, CHERNOBYL-STYLE. Also, we’re playing New York on September 3 assuming our flights don’t get delayed by a GIANT RAGING MUSHROOM CLOUD OVER THE FUCKING OCEAN. YEEHAW!”
In a subsequent interview with The Tragic Traveller, Bloodsprayer said he couldn’t wait for his band’s tour to be cancelled for the most badass reason ever.
“Radioactive hurricane – that’s a pretty fucking metal reason to be late for a gig. Just think of all the street cred we’d get,” he said, dreamily.
“It’d be better than that time when we missed our flight to Murderfest because of ‘heavy fog over the runway.’ Fuck that – give me a nuclear tornado any day of the week!”
Bloodsprayer confirmed that after hearing about Trump’s plans, he and his bandmates had voted to change their band name from “Faeces On Fire” to “Radioactive Hurricane Killzone Squad,” in a move their solitary fan described as “selling out.”
