BREAKING: Crowd holds breath as five-year-old ski prodigy hurtles toward massive jump
The regular Kiwi park rats at the Cadrona terrain jumps go silent as a three-foot tall blur on skis barges its way to the front of the queue. Though normally a huge faux pas, the assorted ski bums are holding their breaths in anticipation – it’s clear this kid is about to fucking shred.
“Yewwwww!” says one snowboarder as the unsupervised infant zooms down the first rail. “That kid is going full send!”
Trista, a five-year-old skier whose favourite animal is the lion, is on a six-day trip to Queenstown with her family. It’s her second ever ski holiday. She has managed to lose her mum, who like most ski mums is currently going way too fast down a blue run. Oblivious to all potential danger, young Trista has found the biggest jump in the entire resort and is now barreling towards it.
“Do a flip!” shouts another punter.
“Trista!” her Dad yells from the sidelines. “Come back here this instant!” Unfortunately, the grom has zero intention of listening to reason as she speeds up on the ramp approach.
In bright pink fluros and a unicorn helmet, Trista does a front flip 3.5 m in the air and lands it like it’s nothing. Dozens of onlookers collectively lose their shit.
In a post-run interview with The Tragic Traveller‘s winter sports reporter, Trista says: “That was really fast. I’m sleepy. Can I go home now?”
Just minutes later, witnesses see Trista passed out on a sled being dragged along by her older brother, Kevin.