WAKING: Middle-aged guest at party hostel sets alarm for 6 am

That random 55-year-old geezer at your party hostel has definitely just set his alarm for 6 am tomorrow, sources have confirmed.

Having tucked himself into bed with his eye mask and earplugs at the unacceptable hour of 9:30 pm, Glen from Devon is without doubt resting up for a big day of historical sightseeing tomorrow. Sober as the day he was born, the boring bastard is bringing down the mood of the whole dorm with his friendly attitude and enthusiasm about seeing Budapest by day.

“If you’re a guest at the Drunky Donkey, you’d better get drunky,” said 19-year-old Chandrice from Essex. “When I come to a party hostel in Eastern Europe, I want to meet drugged up Australian sex pests and other drunk girls from my hometown, not a man who looks like my dad’s accountant.”

Tensions in the room eased when everybody realised Glen would be up and about before they returned home from their all-you-can-drink Spa ‘n Spew party.

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