Australia’s most notorious serial killer, Ivan Milat, has finally fucked off to join the Mile Deep Club in the darkest corner of Hell. To celebrate the news, hitchhikers from across the globe have begun the holy pilgrimage towards his grave, where they’ll be saluting him with their middle fingers, not their thumbs.
Milat killed at least seven people during the ’80s and ’90s. Several of those victims were hitchhikers, whom Milat picked up, tortured, and killed. His horrific crimes destroyed Australia’s reputation as a safe tourist destination and earnt him the moniker of “the backpacker murderer.”
On Sunday, the bastard wasted his final gasp of oxygen at the Australian taxpayers’ expense. He was 74.
Upon hearing the news, hitchhikers around the world dropped their poetry notebooks, grabbed their rucksacks, and headed for the open road.
“I think I’ll take a nice big dump right over his face,” said Jan, a freelance juggler who had already begun the pilgrimage from Amsterdam.
“Everyone has the right to feel safe, no matter how they travel. Thanks to scurvy pigfuckers like Milat, we’ll always have to look over our shoulder. But at least this particular cunt is no longer a cause for concern.”
As the first pilgrims arrived on Sunday night to pay their disrespects, local police granted each visitor five minutes to fling bodily fluids of their choosing at the horrible man’s grave. There was then a candlelight vigil; pilgrims burnt all Milat’s most treasured personal possessions with candles.
Not long after Milat’s death, the Devil released a press statement saying how much he was going to enjoy tormenting Ivan Milat for all eternity.