“The best things in life are free!” posts woman who’s paying $679 a night for this view

They say money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy flights, accommodation, cocktails, that cute bikini, and an iPhone XS on which to record photographic evidence of your holiday.

For aspiring Insta model Brandii, life has never been about the $$$. Although it did take a hefty number of dollar dollar bills to get her to the infinity pool on the skydeck of one of Greece’s fanciest hotels, where she’s currently soaking in some very expensive free views.

“I guess I just value experiences more than material things,” said Brandii, holding a $60 glass of champagne in her heavily bejewelled right hand. “Maybe if people spent more time travelling and less time worrying about money, the world would be a better place.”

Brandii, whose parents recently bought her a three-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, dropped out of fashion school because it was “too stressful.” Ever since, she’s been working on turning her Insta profile into a source of income. 

“Full-time work is a deadly trap,” said the 24-year-old socialite, who has never worked a day in her life. “I hope my account can inspire people to expand their minds and think more deeply about living an alternative lifestyle.” 

At publication time, Brandii was captioning a sauna selfie with an error-strewn rant about vaccinations. 

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