Man who biked solo from Sydney to London doesn’t like to discuss all the wanking

Just a few days ago, Jason Fappinger completed an incredible solo journey. The 35-year-old arrived in London after more than two years on his bike, having made it all the way from Sydney. 

During his journey, Jason rode more than 20,000 km across dozens of countries. He scaled mountain ranges, passed through war zones, and battled some of the most extreme conditions on our planet. 

Jason has been incredibly forthcoming about the physical and mental challenges he confronted along the way, but there’s one subject he seems to be avoiding. 

It was only after some needlessly intense questioning by the fine journalists at The Tragic Traveller that Jason finally spilled the beans. 

“Alright, fine, I’ve been cranking it like a monkey three times a night for the past two years,” an obviously tense Jason admitted. “There, are you happy?” 

Our extremely immature reporter admitted that, yes, he was entertained by this response. He then pushed for more. 

“You’re all alone in a tent in the Gobi Desert. There’s nothing around you but sand and camels for hundreds of miles in each direction. There are a million stars in the ice-clear sky and it’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever seen… What else are you going to do?”

“Let’s just say I have a copy of the ’97 Victoria’s Secret fall catalogue that is very, VERY used. Like you shouldn’t even approach it unless you’re wearing a hazmat suit. Please, can we leave it at that?”

Jason then motioned for The Tragic Traveller‘s correspondent to get lost using his right arm, which was nearly as thick as his quadriceps lol.