A grade-A tool has today been spotted vaping in Sydney, a city currently so polluted by hazardous smoke that hipsters have begun knitting the air.
Travis is an utter knobhead who recently caught a plane from somewhere in America to come be a cock Down Under. He’s also a vape guy. You know, one of the ones with the hat and the beard and the lack of personality.
Although he’s never finished a full cigarette in his life, Travis hopped on the vape train early. He bought all the branded kit and learned how to do that trick where you blow the smoke out your nose in an extremely misguided attempt to impress girls. Now he’s hooked.
Just a few minutes ago, the awful human being stepped outside his hostel to “V down,” as he unsurprisingly calls it. In the thick haze, it was impossible to see where the bushfire smoke ended and his shitty aura began.
“You’re just making things worse, you wanker,” mumbled a passing local in a dust mask. Travis responded by raising a middle finger that not even he could see.
At publication time, the Australian Medical Association had just issued a press release confirming that it’s actually healthier to suck on Travis’s vape then to breathe whatever the fuck is in Sydney’s air right now.