Amid the worst global pandemic in a century, one traveller’s hilarious April Fools Day prank has caused mayhem at the Leaning Lodge hostel in Pisa.
Stranded in Italy with 13 other backpackers after being both too poor and too stupid to get out, Darren Arschloch has been in lockdown for nearly a month. To assuage his boredom, he decided to play a fun little practical joke on his fellow guests by pretending to have the ‘rona.
“I was cooking this one up all week,” Arschloch said with an utterly inappropriate smirk. “Last Thursday I started fake coughing, then by Sunday I was running to the toilet every half an hour and pretending to vomit. Yesterday I rubbed olive oil on my forehead and told everyone it was fever sweat.”
It’s one way to get a private room for free, I’ll tell you that.
True to his name, Arschloch let his roommates stew for a full hour before calling April Fools. During that time, more than half of the hostel’s guests had broken down in tears and no fewer than four had made panicked phone calls saying goodbye to their families.
“It was pure gold. The moment I said ‘corona,’ everybody in the dorm shat themselves at the same time. Pity we didn’t have any toilet paper LOL!” The fact that he actually said “LOL” out loud tells you everything you need to know about this man.
The Tragic Traveller contacted Arschloch’s doctor, who confirmed that the backpacker didn’t actually have COVID-19. However, the doctor pointed out that “the little shit will get his comeuppance” in a few months when his hereditary haemorrhoids start to descend.