Hungover lads on cricket tour raise a glass to God after Sunday’s match gets washed out

Eleven very dusty British lads on a European cricket tour yesterday enjoyed a moment of spiritual ecstasy as torrential rain washed out their Sunday match, allowing them to return to the pub for a fourth consecutive afternoon session.

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Distraught leftie won’t be coming home to Australia for another three years

Yesterday’s shock election result saw Australia’s incumbent right-wing government hold onto power against all odds. In response, one distraught leftie has vowed to remain overseas for another three years “until Australia gets its shit together.”

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