Report: St Patrick’s Day fucking sucks this year
The world is bracing itself for literally the shittiest St Patrick’s Day ever, a new report has confirmed.
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LIVE: Backpacker sharehouse calls emergency summit on the toilet paper situation
Eleven backpackers living in a sharehouse at 117 Woolgoolga Avenue have, in light of a crisis sweeping Australia, called a house meeting.
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Ewww! Nobody at this Melbourne hostel has wiped their arse for five days
Coronavirus is spreading across the world at an alarming rate. But more concerning than the virus itself is the panic accompanying it.
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JUST LIKE CORONAVIRUS: Derrick has now spread to more than 40 countries
There’s a new plague sweeping your hostel. It’s already been to more than 40 countries and it’s spreading fast.
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Lonely backpacker wonders what it’d be like to have a girlfriend, job, home, savings, support network, purpose, career path, sex life, sense of self worth
Tonight, while everybody else is hooking up, Timmy has been left to ponder what it would be like to have a woman to hold.
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Skier outraged at snowboarders delaying him by 0.23 seconds off the ramp
Snowboarders need to stop briefly after getting off the lifts to attach their bindings safely, and it drives skiers crazy.
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Entrepreneurial Kiwi makes millions by charging tourists $20 to stare at his hot, stinking hole
The tract of basically useless land has been in his family for 150 years after it was gifted to his ancestors by the local Māori as a practical joke.
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Travel wanker went to Wuhan “before it was famous”
Your hostel’s obligatory travel wanker wants you to know he visited Wuhan way before any of this coronavirus kerfuffle.
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Total sociopaths throw football around crowded hostel courtyard
It’s 10:30 pm at the BDB Hostel in Hainan, China, and the situation is starting to get very tense.
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Wistful Scott Morrison types “Maldives” into Skyscanner
After literal days of work, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison is bushed and could really do with a tropical holiday.
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“New year, new me,” mumbles backpacker coming down from week-long bender on January 7
One traveller’s new year’s resolution has come a week late after a booze- and drug-fuelled bender got his 2020 off to a very sloppy start.
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FUCK YES! Traveller’s Nan sends money instead of shit sweater for Christmas
A traveller’s risky move to spend Christmas away from home has paid off big time, The Tragic Traveller’s finance correspondent can confirm.
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