The Tragic Traveller

The Tragic Traveller

Our travel bug is fatal

  • Culture shock
  • Making memories
  • Fanny pack
  • Miles high
  • After dark

FEATURED

St Patrick's Day sucks this year because of coronavirus
AFTER DARK FEATURED 

Report: St Patrick’s Day fucking sucks this year

March 17, 2020March 17, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments beer, coronavirus, COVID-19, drinking, Ireland, quarantine, sick, St Patrick's Day

The world is bracing itself for literally the shittiest St Patrick’s Day ever, a new report has confirmed.

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FANNY PACK FEATURED NEWS 

LIVE: Backpacker sharehouse calls emergency summit on the toilet paper situation

March 11, 2020March 11, 2020 Paul Norman 0 Comments Australia, backpackers, coronavirus, pandemic, panic, sharehouse, toilet paper

Eleven backpackers living in a sharehouse at 117 Woolgoolga Avenue have, in light of a crisis sweeping Australia, called a house meeting.

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Nobody at this hostel has wiped their arse
CULTURE SHOCK FEATURED NEWS 

Ewww! Nobody at this Melbourne hostel has wiped their arse for five days

March 9, 2020March 9, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 1 Comment Australia, coronavirus, fear, Melbourne, pandemic, panic, toilet paper

Coronavirus is spreading across the world at an alarming rate. But more concerning than the virus itself is the panic accompanying it.

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Derrick has been to more than 40 countries
CULTURE SHOCK FEATURED NEWS 

JUST LIKE CORONAVIRUS: Derrick has now spread to more than 40 countries

February 26, 2020February 26, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 2 Comments coronavirus, disease, hostel, Iran, pandemic, sick, travel wanker

There’s a new plague sweeping your hostel. It’s already been to more than 40 countries and it’s spreading fast.

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AFTER DARK FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES 

Lonely backpacker wonders what it’d be like to have a girlfriend, job, home, savings, support network, purpose, career path, sex life, sense of self worth

February 14, 2020February 14, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments despair, homeless man, hostel, job, loneliness, love, sex, Valentine's day

Tonight, while everybody else is hooking up, Timmy has been left to ponder what it would be like to have a woman to hold.

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FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

Skier outraged at snowboarders delaying him by 0.23 seconds off the ramp

February 7, 2020February 7, 2020 Paul Norman 0 Comments Canada, French, mountain etiquette, ski lift, skiing, snowboarding

Snowboarders need to stop briefly after getting off the lifts to attach their bindings safely, and it drives skiers crazy.

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Entrepreneurial Kiwi and his hole
CULTURE SHOCK FANNY PACK FEATURED 

Entrepreneurial Kiwi makes millions by charging tourists $20 to stare at his hot, stinking hole

February 3, 2020February 3, 2020 Paul Norman 0 Comments geyser, mud hole, New Zealand, Rotorua, Thermal Explorer Highway, volcanic activity

The tract of basically useless land has been in his family for 150 years after it was gifted to his ancestors by the local Māori as a practical joke.

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Travel wanker went to Wuhan
CULTURE SHOCK FEATURED NEWS 

Travel wanker went to Wuhan “before it was famous”

January 27, 2020January 27, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments arrogant, coronavirus, disease, epidemic, travel wanker, Wuhan

Your hostel’s obligatory travel wanker wants you to know he visited Wuhan way before any of this coronavirus kerfuffle.

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Total sociopaths throw football
CULTURE SHOCK FEATURED 

Total sociopaths throw football around crowded hostel courtyard

January 15, 2020January 15, 2020 Paul Norman 0 Comments American tourist, common area, crowded, football, hostel, inconsiderate, selfish

It’s 10:30 pm at the BDB Hostel in Hainan, China, and the situation is starting to get very tense.

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FEATURED MILES HIGH 

Wistful Scott Morrison types “Maldives” into Skyscanner

January 8, 2020January 8, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments bushfires, holiday, Maldives, politics, Scott Morrison, tropical destination

After literal days of work, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison is bushed and could really do with a tropical holiday.

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New year's resolution
AFTER DARK FEATURED 

“New year, new me,” mumbles backpacker coming down from week-long bender on January 7

January 7, 2020January 7, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments alcohol, drugs, hangover, Kiwi, London

One traveller’s new year’s resolution has come a week late after a booze- and drug-fuelled bender got his 2020 off to a very sloppy start.

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FANNY PACK FEATURED 

FUCK YES! Traveller’s Nan sends money instead of shit sweater for Christmas

December 25, 2019December 25, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments Christmas, family, money, Nan, presents

A traveller’s risky move to spend Christmas away from home has paid off big time, The Tragic Traveller’s finance correspondent can confirm.

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NEWS

Somali government advises against travel to US
CULTURE SHOCK FEATURED NEWS 

Somali government warns citizens against travelling to the USA

May 30, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0

In response to out-of-control scenes in the US over the past few days, the Somali government has made the unprecedented move of advising its citizens to stay away from the world’s richest country.

30-year-old backpacker and travel blogger wants to make money
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

30-year-old backpacker’s fear of no longer travelling or having a social life proven correct

April 20, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0
Chernobyl is on fire
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

Chernobyl catching fire somehow not even in the 10 most apocalyptic news stories of 2020

April 14, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0
Conscientious full-time backpacker starts travelling from home
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

Conscientious full-time backpacker starts travelling from home

March 24, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0

PERSPECTIVE

Waiting for roommates to stop
AFTER DARK CULTURE SHOCK PERSPECTIVE 

OPINION: If my roommates don’t shut up soon, I’ll have no choice but to sit here silently and wait for them to stop

December 18, 2019 Paul Norman 0

My only option is to press the nuclear button: to continue to do nothing and seethe silently until they shut up.

WTF? I arrived in London five hours ago and now I have no money left
FANNY PACK FEATURED PERSPECTIVE 

WTF? I arrived in London five hours ago and now I have no money left

September 12, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0
OPINION: Why millennials should spend less on travel and more on my $500 online e-consulting course
FANNY PACK FEATURED PERSPECTIVE 

OPINION: Why millennials should spend less on travel and more on my $500 online e-consulting course

August 7, 2019 Paul Norman 0
I live in a tent
FANNY PACK PERSPECTIVE 

Congratulations on buying your first home! I live in a tent

May 3, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0

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The Tragic Traveller is the world’s most respected – albeit only – source of travel-based satire. Almost everything you’ve seen on this site is completely made up and, frankly, you’re a fool if you believe a word of it.

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