The Tragic Traveller

The Tragic Traveller

Our travel bug is fatal

  • Culture shock
  • Making memories
  • Fanny pack
  • Miles high
  • After dark

FANNY PACK

Australian immigration officer relaxing
FANNY PACK FEATURED 

Australian immigration officer kicks back after a long week of ruining backpackers’ hopes, dreams

October 18, 2019October 18, 2019 Paul Norman 0 Comments Australia, bureaucracy, farm work, fruit-picking, visa, working holiday

An Australian immigration officer who spends his days crushing backpackers’ spirits can’t wait to hit one of Canberra’s two nightclubs.

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FANNY PACK FEATURED 

$6,000-a-head yoga retreat helps yoga instructor find enlightenment, buy Mercedes

September 23, 2019September 23, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 1 Comment Costa Rica, enlightenment, Mercedes, money, yoga, yoga retreat

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a Mercedes-AMG GT Roadster with heated leather seats. Thankfully, if you’re the organiser of a $6,000-a-head yoga retreat in Costa Rica, you can have both.

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CULTURE SHOCK FANNY PACK NEWS 

Traveller with zero interest in children suddenly super keen to teach English to Thai kids

September 16, 2019September 16, 2019 Paul Norman 0 Comments beach, kids, language, teaching English, TEFL, TESL, Thailand, work and travel

Never had Amanda even talked about kids until two weeks ago, when she signed a lucrative year-long contract to teach English to Thai kids.

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FANNY PACK FEATURED PERSPECTIVE 

WTF? I arrived in London five hours ago and now I have no money left

September 12, 2019September 12, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments expensive, London, money, poor, rip-off, stress

Just a few hours ago I was stepping off my plane, excited to start my new life in London. But now, for some strange reason, I have no money left…

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AFTER DARK FANNY PACK FEATURED 

Man paying $6 a night for 16-bed dorm wants to talk to you about an exciting crypto investment opportunity

September 9, 2019September 9, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 1 Comment Bitcoin, broke, crypto, cryptocurrency, financial trouble, investment opportunity, money

Travel can be an expensive hobby, but not when you have an endless supply of cryptocurrency profits coming your way.

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FANNY PACK MAKING MEMORIES 

“I hate tourists!” says tourist

September 3, 2019September 3, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments Amsterdam, Ann Frank, hipster, hypocrite, queue, tourist

A whiny little hipster traveller has surprised nobody today by declaring that she hates tourists. This is despite the fact that she is, in every measurable way, a fucking tourist.

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CULTURE SHOCK FANNY PACK FEATURED 

Oxford grad returns from Australian working holiday as a full-on tradie

August 19, 2019August 19, 2019 Paul Norman 0 Comments Australia, Oxford, private school, rich, tradie, work and travel, working holiday

While most return from their gap year with tiger selfies or veneral disease, Oxford grad Tristan Hughbert-Snargleton came back with something better: a high-vis vest and a pair of Redback steel-caps.

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Not working during trip to France
FANNY PACK FEATURED 

Local woman successfully convinces boss she’ll be working during her two-week trip to France

August 13, 2019August 14, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments cheese, France, girls trips, holiday, lying, wedding, wine, working holiday

A London office worker has today pulled off the ultimate heist, convincing her boss that she’ll be “working remotely” during her two-week trip to France.

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FANNY PACK FEATURED PERSPECTIVE 

OPINION: Why millennials should spend less on travel and more on my $500 online e-consulting course

August 7, 2019August 7, 2019 Paul Norman 0 Comments e-consulting, Gen X, grifter, making money, millennial, scam

As you can plainly see, I’m a successful businessman. And that entitles me to make broad, ridiculous statements about what people with less money than me should do.

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Broke backpacker orders dinner at McDonald's
FANNY PACK NEWS 

Broke backpacker treats self to dinner at McDonald’s

August 6, 2019August 7, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments backpacker, broke, Macca's, McDonald's, poor, Sydney, thickshake

A backpacker with barely a penny to his name has tonight splashed out and treated himself to dinner at McDonald’s.

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Travelling spiritual healer
FANNY PACK FEATURED 

Travelling spiritual healer somehow makes enough money to justify ridiculous life choices

July 24, 2019July 24, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments cash, crystals, energy, freelance, job, money, reiki, scam, spiritual healer, travel forever

Mystified observers remain confused about how a travelling spiritual healer who spends more than 300 days a year on the road manages to finance her carefree lifestyle despite offering literally nothing of value to society.

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FANNY PACK FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES 

FaceApp accurately predicts what backpacker’s crippling poverty will look like 40 years from now

July 17, 2019July 17, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 1 Comment 2060, aging, backpacker, broke, FaceApp, no money, old, poor, social media

A long-term backpacker has discovered that he’s destined to be broke, homeless, and alone after the FaceApp 2060 challenge.

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NEWS

Somali government advises against travel to US
CULTURE SHOCK FEATURED NEWS 

Somali government warns citizens against travelling to the USA

May 30, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0

In response to out-of-control scenes in the US over the past few days, the Somali government has made the unprecedented move of advising its citizens to stay away from the world’s richest country.

30-year-old backpacker and travel blogger wants to make money
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

30-year-old backpacker’s fear of no longer travelling or having a social life proven correct

April 20, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0
Chernobyl is on fire
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

Chernobyl catching fire somehow not even in the 10 most apocalyptic news stories of 2020

April 14, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0
Conscientious full-time backpacker starts travelling from home
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

Conscientious full-time backpacker starts travelling from home

March 24, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0

PERSPECTIVE

Waiting for roommates to stop
AFTER DARK CULTURE SHOCK PERSPECTIVE 

OPINION: If my roommates don’t shut up soon, I’ll have no choice but to sit here silently and wait for them to stop

December 18, 2019 Paul Norman 0

My only option is to press the nuclear button: to continue to do nothing and seethe silently until they shut up.

WTF? I arrived in London five hours ago and now I have no money left
FANNY PACK FEATURED PERSPECTIVE 

WTF? I arrived in London five hours ago and now I have no money left

September 12, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0
OPINION: Why millennials should spend less on travel and more on my $500 online e-consulting course
FANNY PACK FEATURED PERSPECTIVE 

OPINION: Why millennials should spend less on travel and more on my $500 online e-consulting course

August 7, 2019 Paul Norman 0
I live in a tent
FANNY PACK PERSPECTIVE 

Congratulations on buying your first home! I live in a tent

May 3, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0

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The Tragic Traveller is the world’s most respected – albeit only – source of travel-based satire. Almost everything you’ve seen on this site is completely made up and, frankly, you’re a fool if you believe a word of it.

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