Report: St Patrick’s Day fucking sucks this year
The world is bracing itself for literally the shittiest St Patrick’s Day ever, a new report has confirmed.
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drinking
Vegan, lactose-intolerant, gluten-free backpacker only consumes sugar if it’s been fermented first
A 23-year-old backpacker from Portland only eats locally sourced, vegan, raw, activated superfoods, but is happy to drink vodka and do drugs.
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Trailblazing backpackers break tradition by getting smashed on a mountain instead of a tropical beach
Finding the standard Kho Tao full-moon party thing a bit cliche, some innovative backpackers have decided to avoid the standard gap year and park themselves in Queenstown, New Zealand.
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Pilot who downed two bottles of voddy last night cures hangover with large coffee from airport Macca’s
An absolute mad dog of a pilot is about to take to the skies despite still having enough vodka in his system to put a baby elephant to sleep. His secret? A large Americano from the McDonald’s at Melbourne Airport.
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Pissed stag party suspiciously chirpy about early-morning fire alarm at hotel
A rowdy stag party in Spain hasn’t been dampened by an early-morning fire alarm, which has forced everyone in the hotel out into the street.
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Surfer at party hostel somehow out and about before 9 am
Residents and other vagrants at the Big Z Beachside Party Hostel in Portugal have been shocked to discover that a travelling surfer – Gold Coast native Shanice Buntley – is somehow awake and lucid before midday after a particularly hectic night out.
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Hungover lads on cricket tour raise a glass to God after Sunday’s match gets washed out
Eleven very dusty British lads on a European cricket tour yesterday enjoyed a moment of spiritual ecstasy as torrential rain washed out their Sunday match, allowing them to return to the pub for a fourth consecutive afternoon session.
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Abusive man at bus stop flourishes in new role as boat DJ in Magaluf
A 45-year-old Slough man, Hugh Jaynus, is proving that the tourism industry isn’t just a young man’s game.
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British tourists in Turkey enjoy their 10 am cocktails without the guilt as Ramadan ends
British tourists in the Turkish coastal destination of Antalya are today celebrating the end of Ramadan with a few stiff morning drinks on the beach.
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Crippling existential crisis solved by booze-fuelled Phuket holiday
A man who has spent almost all his life grappling with the torment of his own existence has banished his spiritual demons by taking a fucken’ sick 10-day bender in Phuket.
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Honeymooners relive the glory days by getting absolutely hammered on cheap tequila
A pair of newlyweds have paid homage to the good old days by getting absolutely wankered on cheap tequila during their honeymoon in Cancun.
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Incoming school trip spells doom for hostel’s Friday night
Sad scenes are unfolding at the Spewing Spider Hostel in Krakow, where a mass check-in of German schoolchildren is threatening to kill the upcoming weekend of backpacker debauchery before it has even begun.
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