The Tragic Traveller

The Tragic Traveller

Our travel bug is fatal

  • Culture shock
  • Making memories
  • Fanny pack
  • Miles high
  • After dark

sex

AFTER DARK FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES 

Lonely backpacker wonders what it’d be like to have a girlfriend, job, home, savings, support network, purpose, career path, sex life, sense of self worth

February 14, 2020February 14, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments despair, homeless man, hostel, job, loneliness, love, sex, Valentine's day

Tonight, while everybody else is hooking up, Timmy has been left to ponder what it would be like to have a woman to hold.

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Kilometre High Club
FEATURED MILES HIGH 

Premature ejaculator joins the Kilometre High Club

October 29, 2019October 29, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments aeroplane, awkward, cousins, flight, Mile High Club, premature, sex

An overly eager man and his unimpressed sexual partner have failed to join the Mile High Club on a technicality.

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AFTER DARK FEATURED 

Attractive colleagues sharing hotel room on work trip probably just playing chess right now

August 29, 2019August 29, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments chess, colleagues, hotel, just playing, sex, work trip

Those two totally attractive colleagues of yours are almost certainly just playing chess in their shared hotel room right now, the HR manager of your company has confirmed.

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AFTER DARK FEATURED NEWS 

BREAKING! Disgusting perv jacks off in hostel room! The two people having dorm sex were totally cool though

August 26, 2019August 26, 2019 Paul Norman 0 Comments couple, dorm room, hostel, loud, masturbating, pervert, sex

Horrific scenes have unfolded at the Giggly Crustacean Hostel in Chicago, as it has been revealed that a repulsive creep jerked it in a dorm bed in a half-crowded room.

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Man in Australian country town completes Tinder
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES 

Desperately single traveller finishes Tinder 80 seconds after arriving in Australian country town

August 5, 2019August 5, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments Australia, country town, dating app, lonely, love, sad, sex, Tinder

Pickings are slim in the Australian country town of Strathbogie, as Scottish backpacker Huw McLoughon has just found out.

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AFTER DARK FEATURED 

“I got laid last night” says guy who definitely just masturbated in your shared bathroom

July 22, 2019July 22, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 1 Comment backpacker, dorm, featured, hostel, Madrid, nightlife, sex, Spain

The weedy American fuckboy from the bunk above you is definitely bullshitting about getting “hella laid last night” and has

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MILES HIGH NEWS 

Report: Entire cabin crew – plus the pilot – GOT IT ON last night

July 17, 2019July 17, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments air hostess, cabin crew, flight attendants, orgy, plane, sex

Every single staff member on your flight from London to Montreal GOT IT ON last night, investigators have confirmed.

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Hostel worker in Budapest
AFTER DARK FANNY PACK FEATURED 

Former hostel worker really rinsing out those three years in Budapest on her CV

May 2, 2019May 2, 2019 Paul Norman 2 Comments binge drinking, Budapest, CV, drinking, hostel, job hunting, sex, work and travel, work experience

An American traveller is in a better position than most to enter the workforce after spinning her 36-month-long gap year to her advantage.

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EMirates in-flight entertainment edits Game of Thrones
MILES HIGH NEWS 

Emirates in-flight entertainment reduces GoT episode to 12 minutes after editing out violence, tits

April 29, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments censorship, editing, Emirates, Game of Thrones, movie, sex, tits, violence

Passengers on Emirates flights have been left bitterly disappointed upon discovering that the airline has edited all sex and violence from the episodes of Game of Thrones on its in-flight entertainment service.

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Wanderlust turns to regular lust
AFTER DARK FEATURED 

Wanderlust becomes regular lust as backpacker’s dry spell reaches 13 months

April 26, 2019April 26, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments dormitory, dry spell, getting laid, hostel, lust, problems, sex, travel, wanderlust

A backpacker who hasn’t got any in over a year has lost all interest in the “wanderlust” that motivated him to travel and is now entirely consumed by good old sexual lust, The Tragic Traveller can confirm.

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Everyone else in your dorm having sex right now
AFTER DARK FEATURED NEWS 

Report: Everybody in dorm having sex right now except you

March 11, 2019March 12, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 1 Comment awkward, backpacking, dorm, dormitory, hook-ups, hostel, loneliness, making friends, research, romance, sex

All 11 other people in your overcrowded dorm are having sex right now and hoping you don’t realize, researchers have

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AFTER DARK FEATURED NEWS 

Hotel mattress has higher sperm count than man sleeping on it

February 17, 2019February 17, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0 Comments business, gross, hotel, loneliness, night, report, science, sex, sleep, study

Spending yet another night sad and alone in an unfamiliar city, 37-year-old Alan Hoxton is reportedly about to drift off

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  • ← Previous

NEWS

Somali government advises against travel to US
CULTURE SHOCK FEATURED NEWS 

Somali government warns citizens against travelling to the USA

May 30, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0

In response to out-of-control scenes in the US over the past few days, the Somali government has made the unprecedented move of advising its citizens to stay away from the world’s richest country.

30-year-old backpacker and travel blogger wants to make money
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

30-year-old backpacker’s fear of no longer travelling or having a social life proven correct

April 20, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0
Chernobyl is on fire
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

Chernobyl catching fire somehow not even in the 10 most apocalyptic news stories of 2020

April 14, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0
Conscientious full-time backpacker starts travelling from home
FEATURED MAKING MEMORIES NEWS 

Conscientious full-time backpacker starts travelling from home

March 24, 2020 The Tragic Traveller 0

PERSPECTIVE

Waiting for roommates to stop
AFTER DARK CULTURE SHOCK PERSPECTIVE 

OPINION: If my roommates don’t shut up soon, I’ll have no choice but to sit here silently and wait for them to stop

December 18, 2019 Paul Norman 0

My only option is to press the nuclear button: to continue to do nothing and seethe silently until they shut up.

WTF? I arrived in London five hours ago and now I have no money left
FANNY PACK FEATURED PERSPECTIVE 

WTF? I arrived in London five hours ago and now I have no money left

September 12, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0
OPINION: Why millennials should spend less on travel and more on my $500 online e-consulting course
FANNY PACK FEATURED PERSPECTIVE 

OPINION: Why millennials should spend less on travel and more on my $500 online e-consulting course

August 7, 2019 Paul Norman 0
I live in a tent
FANNY PACK PERSPECTIVE 

Congratulations on buying your first home! I live in a tent

May 3, 2019 The Tragic Traveller 0

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The Tragic Traveller is the world’s most respected – albeit only – source of travel-based satire. Almost everything you’ve seen on this site is completely made up and, frankly, you’re a fool if you believe a word of it.

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