Vegan, lactose-intolerant, gluten-free backpacker only consumes sugar if it’s been fermented first

Nowadays, travelling goes hand-in-hand with obnoxious health trends. It’s almost impossible to stay in a hostel and not be surrounded by people who refuse to eat any of the fun stuff. Even worse, they judge you for no adhering to their insanely high dietary standards.

Rhy’lee is one such backpacker. The 23-year-old from Portland only eats locally sourced, vegan, raw, activated superfoods. He certainly wouldn’t go anywhere near refined sugar, as he told you earlier when you were brazen enough to open a chocolate bar in front of him. 

However, Rhy’lee seems to feel differently about sugar that’s been left to ferment for two months, judging by the way he’s attacking the craft beer and voddy tonight.

“You don’t get a second body, so you’d better take care of the first one,” he said, downing his ninth shot of the evening.

Once you remove toxins like bread and milk from your diet, I guarantee you’ll feel better.

“And sugar… sugar’s fucking lethal, man,” he added, clearly unaware of the chemical composition of Smirnoff. 

Rhy’lee then embarked on a rant about how pharmaceuticals will be the death of humanity.

“Stay natural, bro! Those medicines your doctor prescribes are literally poison.”

Interestingly, Rhy’lee’s views on illicit drugs cooked up in some junkie’s bathtub seem much more relaxed, as was evidenced by the huge bump of very dodgy-looking speed he snorted 20 minutes later.