Hundreds of thousands of tourists around the world are today in mourning after their holidays were ruined by the Great Social Media Outage of 2019.
For around two hours on Sunday, Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp stopped working across the entire planet. According to the UN, up to one million travellers had been affected by the tragedy. Reports confirmed countless beach selfies, ironic Eiffel Tower photos, and creepy posts asking for female travel companions had been lost forever.
One distraught travel influencer told The Tragic Traveller she may never recover from those hours without affirmation of her good looks.
“For the past five years I’ve averaged more than 1000 likes per hour,” she said. “To be robbed of that constant praise because of Instagram crashing was just inhumane.”
“I started to question whether my beach selfie really was [flame emoji] [eggplant emoji] [water droplets emoji],” the Insta model added, sobbing.
This must be what psychological torture feels like.
Another backpacker told The Tragic Traveller the Great Social Media Outage of 2019 had forced him into some uncomfortable situations.
“Normally after a day exploring the city, I’d come back and silently upload all my pics in the common room,” he said. “But today I had to actually talk to the other people at my hostel. It was fucking awful.”
The Tragic Traveller later received reports that Facebook Inc. had deliberately caused the blackout. Sources said Facebook was simply testing the public’s reaction to internet-free life in preparation for next week’s scheduled apocalypse.