BREAKING! Disgusting perv jacks off in hostel room! The two people having dorm sex were totally cool though

Horrific scenes have unfolded at the Giggly Crustacean Hostel in Chicago with news that a repulsive creep has jerked it in a dorm bed in a half-crowded room. The man was arrested on the spot by hostel police.

Meanwhile, two drunk strangers, who had plenty more private options available, bumped uglies in the equally crowded room next door. But because it was two people exposing non-consenting strangers to their weird squishy sex noises instead of one, it was actually totally normal and kinda cool.

The probably mentally ill weirdo was put in a cage until being transferred to the local airport to be banished from travelling forever, and his face was shared immediately to all backpacker groups to warn fellow travelers.

The couple who banged loudly in front of everyone received knowing nods from total strangers and several occasional high fives.

More as the story develops.