A travelling Insta model is tonight in tears after an otherwise flawless photo of herself looking pretty in front of the Eiffel Tower was ruined by a homeless man selfishly intruding into the frame.
Cassie De La Blanfontaine – more widely known as @mi_cassie_es_su_cassie on Instagram – was dealt the cruellest of blows when she noticed the vagabond pulling trash out of a bin in the background just as she was about to upload the smoking-hot snap. She reacted by tossing her phone out the window.
“We were there for 40 minutes and my useless fucking boyfriend could only take one photo that didn’t make me look fat,” Cassie told The Tragic Traveller, still livid. “When he finally got the lighting and angles right, he didn’t notice the hobo standing right behind me.”
“I swear, I would dump his ass this second if I didn’t need him to carry my bags around Europe for another three weeks.”
The Tragic Traveller managed to track down drifter Henri Mauvaissent, the man who ruined Cassie’s pic. Henri was extremely apologetic for his horrible deed.
“It really puts things into perspective,” a repentant Henri said in surprisingly fluent English. “This poor Insta model had a guaranteed thousand-liker and I’ve gone and ruined it by selfishly digging through a nearby trashcan looking for scraps of food. I’ll have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.”
“All I’ve had to deal with in recent years is the loss of my job, the breakdown of my marriage, my heroin addiction, frostbite, getting spat on by passing businessmen, and the diagnosis…” he added. “But thank god I’ve never looked stupid on Insta before. You never get over that shit.”